Dude, You're a Girl!
by CrazyAssFangirl
Summary: Join Kyle, Tweek, Pip, Butters, and Token as they adjust to being turned into girls by one of the science teachers at their school. They were only supposed to do an extra cred. assignment, but nope. Even the simplest processes in South Park have a tendency to take slight detours. This is gonna be one hell of a ride, so get comfortable. Oh, and have fun. : )
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1; Kyle's P.O.V

I was walking down the science hall towards the physics room to do an extra credit assignment with Pip, Tweek, Token, and Butters when there came an explosion from the science teachers' lounge. The explosion didn't do much damage, but it caused a cloud of smoke to fill the science hall and left the five of us gagging on the scent of burnt rubber (for some reason, don't ask why 'cuz I don't know) and left a wave of tingling all over my body. When the dust and smoke cleared to the point that we could see each other, all of us gaped in shock. Everyone of the guys in front of me had become girls, and _damn_ , if I wasn't gayer then should've been humanly possible (for Stan of course), I would've found the girls in front of me hotter that any supermodel could ever aspire to be.

"Sorry about that boys, I don't know wha-"Our crazy ass chemistry teacher came out of the lounge looking perfectly fine, but stopped and stared at us as our altered appearances slowly started to register in his brain. "No. Fucking. _Way._ " He muttered, then took out his phone and snapped a fucking _picture._

"What the fuck!?" I yelled, then clapped a hand over my mouth in shock as I realized that my voice had gotten smoother and higher pitched, though not by much. The other guys stared at me in shock too, as Token raised a shaky hand and said "Kyle, look at yourself dude. You are fucking _hot._ No way anybody wouldn't take a picture of you." I shook my head.

"But Token, you guys are so much hotter than me, you have to be." Everybody else, including the damn science teacher, shook their head.

"Dude," Tweek said without his stuttering or twitching. "You're so beautiful, I might've just become straighter than a ruler. Like, no joke." I pulled my phone out of my back pocket with a slim, shaking hand, put in my lock code, and went to my camera. I stared, it was all I could do as I took in my altered appearance. My face had gotten slimmer and now had a vaguely heart shaped look to it. My skin was perfectly smooth without a single pimple or dirty pore or blackhead anywhere. My eyebrows were perfectly plucked, my eyes were an even brighter emerald than before, and my lips were fuller and a beautifully natural pink. Even my hair was attractive now. It was down slightly past my shoulders and it had loose curls that framed my perfect face. "Woah." Was all I was able to manage before I started tearing up. "Dudes, what are we gonna do? We have school and social lives, and friends. We could always skip school but then our friends would get worried and try to visit us, and there's no way I want the love of my life seeing me like this." Tears were streaking down my face as I turned to run, but just as I turned the corner, I ran into Stan.

"What the HELL? Kyle is that you? What happened?" I tried to dart around him to avoid answering him, but he grabbed my thin wrists and held me in place. Sighing, he repeated his earlier question of what happened.

"I don't know dude." I mumbled, and I swear Stan's face turned pink when he heard my voice, not that I could blame him. "One minute Token, Tweek, Pip, Butters, and I were walking towards the physics room to do an extra cred. assignment, the next the science teachers' lounge explodes, and we turn into girls while there's a bunch of smoke and dust in the air." I looked up at him with tears still running silently down my cheeks. He sucked in a breath and his cheeks got even brighter as he whipped out his phone and called Craig.

"Craig, get Damien, Kenny, Clyde, and yourself down to the science hall. The dudes just got turned into chicks." Just then, the other four guys-turned-girls walked around the corner and Stan's jaw dropped. "Scratch that Craig, really fucking hot chicks. Like, each of them looks hotter then any model, ever. They all look perfect. Oh, and Tweek isn't twitching, at _all_." There was muffled conversation on the other side of the phone as all of us flushed in embarrassment.

When the others arrived only to just stand stock still and gawk at us, Pip stared at them in confusion. "What's so interesting about us turning into girls? I mean, it's strange, even for South Park, but it isn't that fascinating." I chuckled softly and draped a thin but muscular arm over his shoulders and hugged him, then scowled.

"How in the hell do women _deal_ with breasts? They're so heavy, and my back is already starting to ache from the extra weight." I grumbled as I supported the underside of my new womanly part to relieve so of the strain from my back. I stopped when Stan got a nosebleed and stumbled over his own feet. "Anyways. Pip, it isn't the fact that we got turned into girls that they're gawking at, it's the fact that we're exceptionally hot as women." His mouth opened in a silent "oh" so I knew he understood now.

 **Author's Note: So, this is the end of Chapter One of Dude, Your a Girl?! and I have four chapters already planned out. I have a feeling I'm going to have way to much fun with this South Park fanfiction, but oh well. Please let me know what you guys think of this story! (if anyone reads it) In this fanfiction, there will be like, only gay ships and I'll do my best to make it as adorable as it deserves to be! Thanks for staying this long. -CrazyAssFangirl : )**


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay," Craig said, his voice giving away obvious shock even though his facial expression didn't change much. "how in the hell did my _boyfriend_ get turned into a girl?" Tweek nodded wildly, also wanting to know how he had been turned into a girl.

"Ah, so sorry about that." A person said from behind us and I whirled around to see the craziest teacher at South Park Academy (Author's note: In this fanfiction, South Park lacked the funds and motivation to build a middle school and a high school, so they just combined the two into one school. The main South Park cast are in eighth grade.) Mr. Robert was the chemistry teacher at the school, and batshit crazy. For reasons no one quite understood, he always loved to take appliances apart and put them together in some new way in the science teachers' lounge. Most of the time, he just ended up causing the lounge to explode, but he was never fired. "I didn't foresee this happening. I was sure I got it figured out correctly this time."

"Wait." I said, practically spitting the words out of my mouth so I didn't yell at the teacher. "How did _we_ " I indicated the five of us that had been turned into girls "get turned into girls, but you didn't?" Mr. Robert laughed in amusement, as if the idea of him being turned into a girl was the funniest thing he'd heard all day, and fifteen minutes ago, I would've agreed, but now I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. _No,_ I mentally chided myself. _You can cry in a corner later, but right now, you need to figure out a way to either blend in as much as possible, or try to get back to being a boy._

"I'm afraid," Mr. Robert said frowning slightly "that I don't know how to reverse this, so you might have to wait a few months while I do research." And then, the overwhelming urge to cry in a corner was back, and stronger than ever. Instead of crying in a corner, I just sank to my knees and buried my face in my hands, my red hair falling like a curtain in front of my head, further shielding my face from sight. I felt arms wrap around my shoulders, and Tweek whispered into my ear about how it could've been worse and that we could've been stuck like this forever.

"But we're not." He said. "Mr. Robert will figure out some crazy machine to build and then 'test out' that will explode in our faces and turn us back into our proper gender. And if he can't do it, there are other scientists crazy enough in South Park to figure out something that will work." I pulled back from Tweek and smiled at him, even though it was forced, and I was still crying. "You're right of course Tweek. I can't afford to break down in tears now. For now, and the next few months, we'll have to figure out how to blend in as much as possible. As much as I would like to wear my regular clothes, my regular clothes won't help us blend. Clyde would you mind calling Bebe and asking her to help us find clothes at the mall?" I asked, turning in Clyde's direction. He nodded and whipped out his new phone. "Token, would you mind helping me pay for the clothes and stuff?" Token pulled out a card and smiled at me. "Great, Stan, Craig, Kenny, Clyde, and Damien, you guys will be coming with us. You won't have to go shopping with us, but when we meet up afterword's, knowing Bebe, we'll need some help carrying all the bags." The boys looked less then excited about this, and while I couldn't blame them, it was hilarious seeing them shift in discomfort at just the thought of carrying bags full of clothes. "Teach," I said turning to Mr. Roberts, "please get to work on figuring out a way to turn us back to normal. You have three months tops, to figure it out, then we're talking to someone else." He nodded meekly under the heavy glare I sent him. Moments later, Bebe came running down the hall squealing in excitement before she quite literally screeched to halt at the sight of us new girls.

"Oh. My. God! You guys look soooo hot!" Then she turned to me, smiling and almost glittering in happiness. "And Kyle, you _still_ have your perfect ass! This is the best day of my life!" I just stared at her as Clyde and Kenny burst out laughing. " **You** ," she said, glaring at Clyde causing him to gulp in fear. "Why didn't you send a picture when I asked how hot they were? I know you saw it. Whatever, forget it." Bebe then grabbed mine and Tweek's wrists' and started dragging us down the hall in the direction of the front doors.

 **Time Skip: Half an hour**

We were dragged into a department store and straight to the women's section as soon as we stepped foot in the mall, leaving the poop boys to follow in our wake because Bebe had somehow blackmailed them all into tagging along to help us out. Bebe forced piles of clothes into our arms, and told us to each get changed into an outfit, then come out so she could decide whether it was a good idea for us to wear. Each time we came out with an outfit, she would also ask the boys what they thought, and soon, we had the entire department store as our audience. People would clap and cheer as we walked out, and some even gave us advice.

We went through this process in five different stores at the Denver Mall and each time, the crowd that gathered to watch us parade around in different outfits was large, loud, and very, _very_ excited. We ended up having a talent scout approaching us after one store, but Craig, Damien, Tweek, Stan, and I just flipped him off in perfect unison, causing me to start laughing with Tweek for some reason. By the time we finished, it was nine at night and we each had several pairs of jeans (ripped and not), several blouses, a couple t-shirts, a beanie, make up, two new pairs of shoes (one were heels, the other tennis shoes), white and black socks, underwear that we could actually wear with our outfits (they were a _lot_ more comfortable, and fashionable than tightie whities), and even a couple necklaces to wear. "Just a minute guys" I said as we walked to the bus stop that would take us back to South Park, just thinking of a detail we'd overlooked "don't we need new names to call ourselves out in public? I mean, obviously the teachers are gonna know who we are, but that doesn't mean we should tell the other students." The others nodded slowly, and Bebe asked what my name would be. "I'd go by Ruby. Just because of my hair." Token thought for a minute, then said; "I'll go by Athena."

"I'll go by Tabatha." Tweek said, smiling slightly, his eyes reflecting the moon.

"I'll be Rose," Pip said, his usually heavy British accent quite mild now.

"I'm now Opal." Butters said, smiling brightly at the thought that he had a new role to play, one that didn't involve being constantly bullied by Cartman.

"That's great! We all have new names, but I think we should have a story for why we're appearing so suddenly, then leaving just as quickly as we appeared." Token said, shaking his head. "We can't just _not_ tell them anything, so we need a cover story." Everyone was silently thinking as we got on the bus and sat in the way back, then Craig spoke up. "What if," he said. "we told everyone you guys were…. Uh… army brats, maybe, and you guys were just staying in South Park, Colorado for a few months while the government worked with you parents on a new top-secret assignment? And then, to explain the disappearance of your male counterparts, you could say that they were involved in some way or another. Honestly, nobody would even question it, considering what weird ass shit goes down here." I nodded in agreement with that last statement, then pulled out seven twenty-dollar bills and gave them to Craig.

"The money we took from you to start a Peruvian band, plus forty extra dollars for making you wait so long to get it back. Sorry about taking that money from you man. We were douchebags to lots of people in elementary school, but I want to start making it right." Craig raised an eyebrow at me as he tucked the money in his wallet.

"And that," he said, "was the best first step to improving your relationship with your peers, by admitting that you were wrong or that you were a douchebag, and not just blaming it all on Cartman, though I'm sure he was the main source of anguish for all the bullshit we went through in elementary school." He gave me a small smile that I returned full force. "But just so you know dude, I stopped holding a grudge about that in sixth grade when I realized that I probably wasn't going to get my money back, so it's a nice surprise to have been proven wrong." I was then strangle-hugged by Stan who started sobbing and I looked at Craig with 'help me!' practically written across my face, before I realized that Tweek had hugged him with just as much force and looked just as uncomfortable as I felt, possibly more so then me. He looked at me then, mouthed 'what do I do now?', and I couldn't take it anymore, I simply had to laugh. It felt good to have apologized to Craig for elementary school, and it felt great to give him back the money I owed him, and despite the less-then-desirable situation we were in for the next few months, I felt happier and lighter than I'd felt in a long time. The fact that Stan was hugging me may have been making the whole problem easier to deal with as well. I looked up at Craig and felt my face heating up when I realized how weird Stan sobbing on me must look to everyone else, so I patted Stan on the back, and blushed as I rubbed small circles in his back to help him calm down. I could practically feel the force of Craig's smirk that he gave me when he realized my face was pink.

 **Time Skip: The next morning**

As I walked to school with Stan and Kenny, I groaned. Thank god I was able to stay over at Stan's house last night and his parents and sister had been asleep when we reached his house. This morning I woken up early, gotten dressed in a brand-new outfit, then snuck home, shoved the bags in my closet, and explained over note that I'd spent the night at Stan's place, and that I had a very shocking event happen to me the day before that they would need to see to believe for themselves, and that I would explain what that meant when I got home. A few minutes after Stan and Kenny arrived to walk to school with me, I gotten a text from my mom saying that she was worried about me last night and that I should've sent a text letting her know I was spending the night with a friend, and also that unless this "event" that happened yesterday was a really good excuse for me not coming home at all last night, then I was grounded for a month, and that meant no phone, no laptop (unless for homework), and no Xbox. Also, that meant no visiting Stan or any of my other friends outside of school.

When we got within two blocks of the school, I stopped, and Stan and Kenny took off running down the road towards the school with me following along at a much slower pace. I met up with the other four "girls", and we walked into the school together, and hundreds of heads turned in our direction as the hall went silent. I walked up to Craig who was "talking" with Clyde, and smiled at him. "Hi, I'm Ruby Sanchez, do you know where I can find room 217?" Craig looked me up and down, pretending to access me, then nodded silently and motioned for me to follow him. "Come on girls!" I called out. "This boy knows where to find room 217!" The other "girls" cheered like this was the best news of their lives. (Author's Note: From this point on, I'm just gonna refer to them as if they were real girls. I am way too lazy to put quotation marks around everything like this.)

As we followed Craig into our classroom, the five of us walked up to the teacher's desk, and I cleared my throat quietly. Ms. Kukka looked up and looked confused at first until I muttered out who we were. "Ah, the temporary kids huh?" That got the attention of anyone who wasn't already blatantly staring at us and Athena nodded her head. "Well then. Why don't you introduce yourselves to us girls?" I nodded my head, and quickly went over the information of our carefully crafted lie.

"Well, we're the Sanchez daughters, and our father is in the U.S army, his name is General Lee Sanchez. My name is Ruby and I'm the twin sister of Athena Sanchez. Athena and I are the younger sisters of the family, but we're the more social ones of the family." I said in my new beautiful voice. I was about to continue until Cartman opened his fat mouth.

"How can **_she_** be _your_ twin sister? You two aren't even that similar, other than you both being army brats that is." I turned towards Cartman's desk and silently walked over to it with all the grace of a professional dancer, and slammed an open palm against his desk making him and others around him jump in surprise.

"I may be nothing more than an army brat, but if my training in martial arts and on weapons can't be used on anything else, at least it can be used to kick your sorry ass in a fight. You want to insult me? Fine. But don't ever insult my sisters or say that one or more of them aren't part of the family. I have grown up my whole life knowing these girls. Besides, family isn't measured by blood, it's measured by bond." I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I could feel the muscles loosen all over my body. I looked up to see Athena standing behind me with a small smile on her face.


	3. Chapter 3: Wendy gets Jealous

**Hey guys! It's chapter 3! I know that I hadn't updated chapter 2 for thirteen days, so I'm gonna give you guys a couple chapters today to make up for that. I also got a great review from** LadyKatherine29, **and also a great idea. So, at some point in the story, Cartman's going to gain a little common sense, and he's going to be afraid of these hot-ass girls. He may also find out who they are, but the jury's still out on if Cartman has enough brain power to figure that out. If you have any ideas for me, let me know what they are. Also, there's a really good South Park fanfiction that focuses on Tweek and Craig and those guys called Semantically Challenged, it's on both and , so check it out! As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter. -CrazyAssFangirl**

"I don't care what anyone here has to say about me, my skin tone, or our family. We'll be going back to California soon anyways, right? I can deal with a few insults from some kids in just another red-necked mountain town. Nothing these kids could ever come up would be half as insulting as the shit the kids in Cali come up with. Besides, we can always earn these guys' respect if we really felt motivated, but I don't. I have you four, mother, and father, and that's all I need right now." Athena turned back to the other kids and smiled gently. "I apologize for my twin sister, she may be the youngest in the family, but she always stands up for the rest of us, and when our older triplet sisters' were being mercilessly bullied by the girls of our elementary school in California, she got into more than one fist fight for them. She also tends to take any hits, whether physical or verbal, upon herself for us." Athena hugged me as I blushed and looked away in embarrassment. "But it's one of the endless reasons why we love her."

After our little introduction to the rest of the class, World History and English passed by in a blur. I could just tell that all our physical and mental strengths and weaknesses had gotten a hell of a lot stronger, because even Tweek was able to answer all questions that were asked during class. But, to avoid to much attention from our classmates, we only raised our hands for every three or four questions, and we always paused longer than needed to make it seem like we were thinking. In reality, my mind was as quick and precise as a police officers' would be at talking about the gun[s] s/he used.

When we walked out of the classroom, we were almost immediately surrounded by girls and boys alike wanting to know about our lives.

"What's it like in California?"

"Do you guys live in a mansion?"

"How much do you guys know about weapons?"

"Do you guys play video games?"

"Do you guys live in a mansion?"

"Do you guys move around a lot?"

"What's your favorite type of music?"

"When are your guys' birthdays?"

" _Do you guys live in a mansion?_ " The five of us paled at the on slot of questions, and the triplets were getting nervous, so I waved my arms for silence. "My sisters and I will tell you guys more about ourselves at lunch, because right now we have class. Now, does anyone have gym that would be willing to lead us there?" Stan stepped forward, holding hands (loosely) with Wendy, and Wendy glared at us with obvious hatred. "Uh, you might want to pay attention to your girlfriend." I said in a stage whisper. "I think she thinks that I'll steal you from her." He chuckled and Wendy almost growled.

"I wouldn't put it past you, _red head_. There's a boy who goes here, Kyle Brovlowski, and he totally has a crush on Stan." I barely managed to contain my rage and embarrassment at that sentence, but gave Stan an 'I'll explain later' look when he flashed me a shocked and possibly happy look. "So, I think you can understand why I have a distrust of other people trying to take him, especially red heads."

"Huh." I said, walking carefully around Stan and Wendy. "He _is_ pretty hot, so I guess I can understand, but you'll end up chasing him off unless you ease up and trust that he won't sneak around behind his back. Besides, most of the girls here don't seem like people that would try to steal another girls' boyfriend, unless she was a complete bitch to them, or they knew that the relationship was toxic." I felt Stan shoot me a warning look, but I just flashed him a beautiful smile, and then turned my attention back to Wendy. "Now, will you lead us to gym? I would hate to be late for my favorite class." She was still glaring at me, but she managed to nod jerkily, then whirl around in anger and walk off down the hallway.

When we got to the gym, Stan introduced us to Coach Botch, and Coach gave us our gym uniforms and told us to go get changed, but when we started walking down the stairs to the locker room, I froze in shock when I heard Wendy and a few of her other bitch friends talking shit about us. I motioned for the other girls to wait for a minute, and Wendy's voice was the only thing that I could think about.

"I swear, she is such a know-it-all! I mean, I thought Kyle was bad, but this _bitch_ has the not only the nerve to try to be smarter than _me_ , but she has the **_fucking_** **** ** _gall_** to _openly_ flirt with Stan! Stan is mine, and I swear that the minute I get that bitch alone I'm going to punch her beautiful face into an unrecognizably bloody mess. And the real cherry on top? Her bitch sisters are almost as annoying as she is when they walk around acting like goddesses when they're not that special or even pretty at all! Like, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM?" I walked down the rest of the stairs as I motioned for the other four to stay in the stairwell.

"So, you hate me just as much as I expected. You want to punch my face in? Go fucking ahead, but there's security camera's all over the school and if you did it here, there are a bunch of witnesses that will call you out on your bullshit. I don't give a damn what you say about me, but insult my sisters again, and I will make your life a living hell. I swear that to-" I didn't manage to complete my sentence before Wendy slapped me across the face. "Learn how to slap before you go around making threats you bitch." I said, straightening calmly. She pulled back her fist and punched me in the stomach.

As she beat me up, I didn't even attempt to fight back because I couldn't afford to get suspended, plus it would make her punishment even more satisfying to witness when they found the punch marks on her knuckles. I lay on the floor for about ten minutes after she left, but when I finally got up, I staggered over to a sink in the bathroom area of the girl's locker room and started to clean the blood off my face. I winced when I hit my nose and I instantly realized that it was broken.

"You idiot!" Athena yelled as she ran towards me. "What the fuck were you thinking?" She hugged me when she reached my side, and while I was surprised, I hugged back.

"S'not that big of a deal." I muttered in embarrassment. "I just wanted to make up for all the shitty stuff I've put people through. Besides, I like being able to take the hits for you guys. It means less crap you guys have to deal with. 'Sides, if I just get a bandage for my nose, I'll be good in five minutes." Athena snorted, and Rose started yelling and pacing around the locker room.

"Yeah, because we're all stupid enough to believe that you're okay. It's bullshit Kyle! You're fucking hurt!"

"Kyle?" We whirled around in alarm, but relaxed when we saw that it was just Bebe. "Kyle! What the hell happened?" She ran to the staircase and yelled up it. "Stan, Craig, and Clyde! Get down here! KYLE'S HURT!" There was the sound of rushing footsteps coming from the staircase, and then the three boys ran into view. They stopped short when they saw me, and just stared in horror until Stan rushed towards me.

"What happened?" He asked, his forehead wrinkling like it did when he was extremely worried about something. I shrugged then shook my head. I spit out some blood that I had barely managed to keep from coughing up on Athena.

"Stan," I said, glaring at him. "if you're going to date Wendy, at least teach her how to throw a punch." I tried to turn around, but I just ended up almost collapsing to my knees because of "fucking bitch managed to bruise some ribs. Impressive." I ground out, everything to some degree hurt to do. It hurt to breath to deep, to cough, and probably to laugh. I felt Stan stiffen beneath me, and I gave him a small, slightly bloody, smile which he didn't return. "Hey Stan, at least we don't need to worry about her getting molested, she could just, owww, kick the shit out of them. She kicked me in the crotch once, and it would've been a real bitch to deal with that if I was still a guy." Craig stared at me in shock.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice displaying a lot of shock as he examined the visible injuries I had.

"Umm, we came down to get changed, but I heard them talking shit about these four, so I just kinda lost my shit. I care about them, and it pisses me off when someone talks shit about the people I care about, I let Wendy beat me up because that will ensure that she gets in trouble and I get away scot free." Clyde started to cry then.

"How many times have you gotten beaten up for protecting these four? When you were guys, I mean, you seem way to use to pain" I silently started counting on my fingers but only every few beatings, so they didn't get to worried.

"Fifteen times?" It's getting difficult to keep track, but it's fifteen give or take a few." Damien suddenly appeared next to me and glared in my direction.

"It's actually been twenty-one times. Twenty-five if you count protecting Craig, Clyde, Stan, Kenny, Jimmy, Timmy, and I. Hell, you've even defended Wendy, which some high schooler felt the need to beat you up for. I can feel the pain you feel each time someone beats you in these guys' places." He turned to the others and continued talking, even as I pushed off Stan's chest and glared at him. "Almost every week he goes through mental, physical, and emotional pain for you guys. And none of you notice anything." They looked down sadly and I rested one hand on Stan's shoulders. When he looked up, he had tears in his eyes, but I smiled and just shook my head.


	4. Chapter 4

As I walked down the halls of the academy with an arm wrapped gingerly around my middle, I thought pit bull thoughts. Wendy and I had never really liked each other, but she had never tried to physically hurt me, probably because she knew Stan, my parents, and my little brother Ike would flip their shit if they found out it was her. I had always been really good at acting, but _damn_ , my ribs hurt like a son of a bitch, and my left wrist was feeling to good either.

Just as I turned the final corner that would lead to the hallway where the nurses' office was, I literally walked right into Eric. Fucking. Cartman. I stumbled back and winced as I clutched my ribs on instinct, which in turn made the pain even worse, and Cartman's eyes widened first in shock, but the shock quickly turned into disgusting glee. He started laughing as he saw me clutching my rib cage in pain, and would've started singing some song (I'm sure), but never got the chance. The reason he didn't get the chance? Damien had melted out of the shadows and right hooked Cartman across the face, then disappeared again. Cartman immediately started crying for his mom, and I rolled my eyes in disgust and continued down the hallway. He hadn't changed much since fourth grade, and so he was still a uncaring psychopath, not to mention a Nazi-loving hypocrite, _and_ he still made fun of Clyde from time to time about his mom's death.

 **Time skip: 15 minutes later**

Of fucking course the nurse would be just as useless as the rest of the fucking adults in South Park. I mean, all the adults are idiots, but couldn't there be at least two normal adults in the mix? She had told me to lay down for a few minutes and then go back to class, and just to make my misery worse, to help with the bruised rib problem of mine, she gave me an ice pack. But, despite that, there was this weird tingling that circled around my body, like electricity under my skin, except it didn't hurt, it just felt weird. And the longer it stuck around, the more my pain was slowly fading. Ignoring the fact that South Park was probably making me lose my shit, I sat under a staircase near the office, and just scrolled through my phone, deciding that I didn't want to walk all the way back to the gym just to sit in a slightly cleaner corner. My phone vibrated then.

 **Stan:** Dude, u doing ok

 **Kyle:** Yah man, I'm fine. I hate this town with a burning passion thou. I mean, the nurse gave me an ice pack for my ribs, like wtf man.

 **Stan:** Uhhh, shouldn't the nurse have called the hospital or some shit? Cause damn, bruised ribs from what I know hurt like shit.

 **Kyle:** ...I'll be fine dude. Just in a little bit of pain is all. Nothing I'm not used to.

 **Stan:** Uh-huh. Yeah I call bullshit Kye

With that last text, I shut down my phone and dumped it in my bag. I knew it was rude to do, but I really didn't want anyone to notice how much pain I was in. I started coughing, and the coughs made the pain flare up in my ribs, except, it wasn't nearly as bad as it was when Wendy had first damaged my ribs. "No fucking way, man." I muttered to myself. I knew that South Park went through crazy shit sometimes, but me having regenerative powers? That was beyond crazy. It was impossible.

Author's note: I have to study for Yearbook now, but here's a small chapter for until I have enough time to write another complete one. Ugh, I **suck** at photo editing. Anyways, luv you all, and write to you later! -CrazyAssFangirl : )


	5. Yeah, not an update

So, I'm in the process of writing South Park Zombie Apocalypse stories where the main pairings are going to be Stan x Kyle, Butters x Kenny, Pip x Damien, Craig x Tweek, possibly Clyde x Token, and either Fatass x Wendy and slight Bebe x Clyde,or Fatass x no one and Wendy x Bebe. I am in the process of writing chapters for The Blood of Humans and Vampire's as well as Dude, You're a Girl?! so don't worry about that too much. Gotta go pretend to care about an English Paper that I have to do.

Love ya guys, -CrazyAssFangirl : P


	6. Chapter 6

I'm going to be deleting this story within a week or so. If you want to read a slightly different version of the story, go to . The story is pretty much the same, except that I edited and changed up a few parts to the story. My name is the same on AO3, except I use that account more, plus there's other stories, including The Blood of Humans and Vampires. I will keep this account, but I'll most likely move to just writing one-shots. Plus, on AO3, it's a hell of a lot easier to find stories and stuff. Plus, the quality of the stories is amazing. Anyways, love you all, and I hope you'll go to my AO3 account. If you have any suggestions for story ideas, let me know.

Signing off, CrazyAssFangirl :P


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